Mistake

So I thought I posted this like 2 months ago but i guess it never quite made it.  So here it is.  A bit later but better late than never.  I'll update again soon.

It's been quite awhile since my last post and so much as happened, there is no way to catch up so as I usually do when this happens I just write about what is going on now.  This school year I have been coaching Junior High.  This is much different than the High School I am use to but, I know God put me here for a reason and I AM HAVING A BLAST.  I coached volleyball in the fall which isn't my favorite sport but it went well.  I learned a lot about myself during those 2 months.  But NOW we are in the midst of basketball season.  I love the sound of bouncing balls on the hardwood and the squeak of shoes, so I have been in my element.  My team is AWESOME!!!  For just being 7th graders they really know their stuff and are actually better then some teams 2-3 years older than them.  Their talent AMAZES me.  At this point our season is about half over and we had our toughest game just last night.  Going in both teams were undefeated, the top two teams in the district.  My girls had really been in a slump going into this game but luckily had played weaker competition, so we were able to eke by.  One of our starters and team captains moved and was no longer a part of the team.  This would be their first game without her.  I think this effected them and the way they paled the previous games knowing she was leaving.  I was apprehensive as to how not having her there at all would be.

The girls came out a bit sluggish but then again that is usually normal.  We soon picked it up and played maybe our best game of the season.  It was a back and forth battle all game.  No team ever getting up by more than 5 or 6 points.  I think one time it my have been a bit more but it didn't stay there long.  The girls were getting frustrated at times when things didn't go their way but continued to fight hard.  We were doing great, our confidence was growing and our teamwork was picking up.  We had the momentum.  Then it happened.  It wasn't the first time, and probably not the last.  It wasn't the first this season, but it was the WRONG time in this game.

I MADE A BAD COACHING DECISION.  Yes, I admit it!  I take all the blame.  About halfway through the 3rd quarter, I had a thought about something I SHOULD do, but DIDN'T do.  I waited...BIG MISTAKE.  I looked at the score and the clock and talked myself out of it.  It wasn't until the beginning of the fourth quarter that I finally decided to do it.  BIG MISTAKE.  We came out flat and lost our momentum and really never got it back.  The girls tried so hard to fight through it but just couldn't get it back.  We ended up losing my 3 Points.  The girls were bummed but they also knew they played hard and fought hard.  I told them to use the lose as a building block to get better and to come out stronger on the other side.  They are a resilient group so I have every confidence they will.  Time will tell.  I know I for sure have learned my lesson and WILL NOT make that mistake again.

ROFL!

Sometimes I just have to laugh at my life.  I mean really rolling on the floor laughing (ROFL), or at least that's what it feels like.  That's the way I feel these past few weeks.  I had this grand plan all summer about what I wanted to do this up coming year and when I wanted to be (coaching wise).  Apparently God had other plans.  He was probably sitting up there ROFL, not necessarily at me but just at the situation and the thought that my plans would actually be better.  I hate that feeling but at the same time I love it.  I hate it because I hate being wrong, but I love it because it reminds me yet again that He knows better than I and I am glad He does.  Let me fill you in.

I went into this summer trying to find a new position for the up coming school year.  I went into it with the mind set of I want to coach at the varsity level and wouldn't compromise on it.  Funny how we think we know best.  I found, applied and interviewed for several "perfect" positions.  I thought all interviews went great and saw myself being offered several of those positions.  God had other plans.  One by one each "perfect" job fell by the wayside. As summer was getting close to the end I realized I was in an almost desperate situation to find a job, any job.  So I began to apply for the dreaded junior high jobs.  

Low and behold a few days later I got a call and went in for an interview.  I was impressed with the school as it was much different than the other schools.  Their mission and character emphasis stood out. The joy and the passion  I saw from the employees and all involved was contagious the moment I walked in.  The interview went well.  It seemed for like a chat over coffee than and interview which was strange to me but I came away feeling good about things.  Six hours later I was offered the job.  Yes six hours.  I had searched for months and nothing but now within six hours time everything feel into place.  Honestly, I still wasn't thrilled about junior high but I sucked it up and plodded on.  I still looked for other opportunities but nothing really came about.  Then the time came to really get into the meat of my new school.

We started some training sessions the last week of July.  With each passing hour the passion for my job, the joy in my heart and the excitement for the up coming year grew.  I slowly began to realize, God had put me right where He wants me to be.  I may not know exactly why that is for sometime but I do know that it is He who put me there and that's all that matters. I have come the this realization in the last 48 hours: I am where He wants me to be for this moment and as long as I continue to follow Him and do what he wants me to do, it doesn't matter if that is in junior high, high school, college, or even the NBA (announced today the hiring of a female assistant NBA coach).  You see its' not the where that matters its the what or more specifically the who.  Its not where we do what we are suppose to do but its who we do it for.  My level of coaching doesn't matter as long and I am doing it for Him!

Waiting Room

 

We all know the feeling.  Sitting in the waiting room, watching the time slowly tick by.  Can't do anything to speed the process along and just have to sit and WAIT! And we all HATE it!! 

I feel like I am in the waiting room of life.  sitting here waiting for things to happen.  Wishing they would hurry along and the harder I wish the slower things go.  Which makes me wonder why on earth I am making this statement:

"WAITING IS A GOOD THING"

There I said it.  I don't know why but I did.  Truth is, deep down I really believe it.  Do I like it?  Do I enjoy it?  ABSOLUTELY NOT!  BUT that doesn't make it any less good.  I know it seems strange.  How could something that we all see as bad and all hate be good?  Easy: GOD.

God makes waiting good.  He uses it to teach use things that we otherwise are too stubborn or to busy to see and learn otherwise.  He uses it to make us stronger.  Take Psalm 27:14, "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." (NIV).  

Think of it like a farmer.  He spends hours and days planting the crops.  Then He waits.  He waits for them to cultivate and grow.  It doesn't happen over night.  It takes time.  He must wait the the right time to harvest.  To early and the crops aren't good.  To late and the crops wither away.  So it is with our life.  

"Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains." James 5:7.

But eventually the time comes and the things we wish would happen do.  And we realize that God was in control the whole time and that the wait was worth it just as God promised. 

"And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised." Hebrews 6:15

This is where I am.  Sitting on the back porch, sipping sweet tea, watching and waiting.  Watching the crops grow, waiting for the harvest!

No Regrets

As I look back over this past season and especially what has transpired in the last 2 months I am reminded once again that God has a plan and He alone is in control.  I will spare you the details of the past 2 months but things were very similar to the Roller Coaster post from last May.  As a side note, I really hope that this is NOT and every year thing... not sure I could take that.

Anyway, in spite of all that has happened there is one thing I can say with unwavering confidence: I have no regrets! 

The point about having no regrets is for several reasons.  First and foremost, its about my approach for the season.  I went into this season with a very different way of coaching, God's Way.  I wanted to show that it could be done and that it could be successful.  I prayed earnestly both before and during about how I was to do this.  I know without a shadow of a doubt that everything I did pleased God and that was what I set out to do.  I was speaking to someone just after things happened and without even thinking about the following  words came out of my mouth, "I know I did things how God wanted me to.  I know I brought glory to Him." To which the person replied, "That's all you can do."  For this very reason, I have no regrets and nothing anyone says or does can make me think otherwise.  Some people may say I did things wrong or things were not good enough, but it wasn't for people I was doing it.  I know this is a strange concept in coaching and it might not go over too well with a lot of people but again it is NOT for people I do it.  If it were, I could not be sitting here talking about no regrets.  I'd be sitting here writing about second guessing myself and wondering what if, but the truth is I am not, and that is because of who I coach for and why I coach.  I coach for God.  I don't coach for myself, my players, their parents of anyone or anything else.  I coach because God has laid a specific call on my life to do so.  He has called me to do this and I do it for no other reason but to bring glory to Him and please Him. Ecclesiastes 2:26a says, "To the person who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness."  So why wouldn't we want to please Him?

Another reason I have no regrets is the relationship I built with 18 wonderful young ladies and many of the parents.  I know many of these will be friendships that last a lifetime.  I know God brought each one of these people into my life for a reason.  Many of them still stand behind me and support me through this time.  That has made things a little easier to swallow.  If it were not for their love and support during the season and during this difficult time, things would have been much worse.  

Through it all I have been constantly reminding myself, 'ALL FOR HIS GLORY'!!  If I didn't believe that life would be much worse. 

86,400 -- How will you use it?

Wow almost a month....I've been busy.  The following post was suppose to be the devotional that I was gonna share at Family Time with the basketball team this week for that didn't happen (I'll explain later, maybe :-)).  So I thought I'd share it on here because I know God lead me to this specific devotion for a reason.

 

The follow comes from a devotional book by legendary coach John Wooden and former coach and player Jay Carthy. 

Ephesians 5:15-16 -- So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise.  Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. (NLT)

If every morning your bank credited your account with $86,400 but every evening canceled whatever part of the amount you failed to use, what would you do?  Spend every cent -- of course!

Well we have such a bank account -- it is called time.  Every day it credits you with 86,400 seconds.  At midnight, whatever you failed to use is lost.  A balance is not carried over to the next day and you're not allowed overdrafts.  Each day the bank named Time opens a new account with you.  Each night it burns the records for the day.  If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours.  This thought from Christian comedian Robert G Lee, helps put value into each day.  The apostle Paul also had a take on time.  He wrote to the Christians in Ephesus and suggested that they make each day a masterpiece.  As wise person, he pointed out, will make the most of his or her time.  Paul also urges us to be filled with the Spirit.  Having God's power helps us say no to the bad stuff and yes to God's will.  How will you spend your 84,600 seconds today?  How can you make today a masterpiece?  

I love this devotional.  It is a great reminder that each day we have is a gift.  It reminds me of one of my favorite poems.  One I ALWAYS carry with me in my wallet.  

This Is The Beginning of a New Day

This is the beginning of a new day.
God has given me this day to use as I will.
I can waste it or use it for good,
but what I do today is important
because I am exchanging a day of my life for it.
When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever,
leaving in its place something that I have traded for it.
I want it to be gain and not loss; good and not evil;
success and not failure; in order that I shall not
regret the price I have paid for it.

'Unknown'


I LOVE that poem...  Again it reminds us that each day is a gift from God and how we use that day is our gift to God.  As each of the 86,400 seconds are gone we will NEVER get them back and that makes each one important and valuable.  God gives me free will to decide how to use it.  My hope is that no matter what I will use it for Him and make it count in the lives of those around.  That is what I try to do in not only my coaching but in my life in general.  I may never know how much impact I have until I stand before Him but as long as I stay true to what I believe and what He has called me to do I know He will smile and say "well done good and faithful servant."  In the long run that's ALL that matters.

One last thing this reminded me of is a song I hear so often on the radio.  I posted the link below.  I hope you will listen to it and really take in the words because I think it sums up this entire post.
 Live like We're Dying by Kris Allen

One Mind

Weird thing happened at the game today.  I was walking down the hallway on the way to the restroom and I heard a fan from the opposing team say"what does that mean on the back of tier jersey, 'one mind'.  That's not their name is it."  I smiled and stopped momentarily to answer her but before the words came out a thought came to my mind.  Do I really know what it means?  I continued down the hallway with that thought in my mind and it lingered there the rest of the day.  Along with that was the thought, 'do my players really know what that means?  They wear it on their jersey every game.  Some even tweet about it before or after games, but my guess is they really don't have a grasp of what it really means.  They all know that it comes from the verse that out teams were build on.  1 Corinthians 1:10, "I appeal to you, brothers, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and the same judgment."  Now those of you familiar with Scripture will know that Paul wrote this to a church that was struggling because they all wanted to do their own things and follow a way.  What they didn't realize is when it came right down to it, they were all still following God they just didn't see it because they were too busy arguing about how to follow God correctly.  What Paul wanted them to understand was that the important part was that they JUST followed God NOT how they did it.  So how does that fit our basketball team.

One Mind -- That is what we were built on.  That means that we as a team and as an organization  agree to the purpose of why we are there and why we do what we do, that is to bring honor and glory to God win or loose.  That is the surface matter.  However its the underlying matter that I am afraid that so many of our players have missed.   This takes me back to the last post about commitment.  I'd like to repost a part of that here as it fits perfectly.

Basketball is very much a team sport.  Each player, coach, parent, fan, etc.  must all be committed to the game in order for it to work properly.  As a member of the team, each player must also commit to the good of the team rather than self.  Once a player breaks that commitment and turns to self, they have no place on the team and if that player isn't soon dealt with the entire team suffers.  This is a hard job as a coach.  Probably one of the hardest but its something that needs to be done.  I usually try and give people the benefit of the doubt but when it comes to commitment, there is no room for that because with commitment you are either in or out there is NO in between!!!!

So what does that have to do with having one mind?  Well lets say a player stays up into the wee hours of the morning just goofing off and having fun, knowing full well they have an early game the next day.  The next day comes and the rest of the team is dependent on that player to do well but because that player stayed up late they have no energy and play horrible.  Because this player is seen as a leader it brings the rest of the team down.  Now when that player decided to stay up all night were they being of "one mind" with the rest of their team?  NOPE!!!  They only thought of themselves and what they wanted and didn't think about how it would impact the team.  See when we are a team we MUST be committed to the team and we must be of ONE MIND.  That doesn't mean that we just say we are up front and then go about our business, that doens't mean that we only are when our teammates or coaches are watching or around.  It means that EVERYTHING we say and do 24/7 is for the team and that we think about how it will impact them.  You see when you are a part of a team you have others that depend on you even if you don't want them to.  That's what being a part of a team means.  ONE MIND ISN'T JUST ABOUT TALKING THE TALK, IT'S ABOUT WALKING THE WALK!!!  It all effects the team 24/7/365...ONE MIND = NO EXCUSES!!!!

 

Commitment

Been so busy didn't realize its been 2 weeks since last post.  So here you go.

Over the last week or so an issue has come up that just irritates me to no end.  So much so that I can't get past it even days later so for what it is worth here is my rant on that issue... COMMITMENT

To me commitment is HUGE!!!  I am a firm believer that once you make a commitment to someone or something that you should stick to it no matter what.  I know things don't always go how they are promised and yes I have been in situations where I was promised something and then that person did not come through BUT does that mean we are to not follow through on our commitment?  ABSOLUTELY NOT!!

See there is something I believe goes so hand in hand with commitment that the two cannot be separated, integrity.  Now if I think commitment is huge then integrity is not only the foundation of that commitment but also the frame that holds it all together and the roof under which it sits.  To me, my word is just as good as a contract on paper.  If I tell someone I will do something, it is as good as done.  Problem is not everyone is that way but I feel they are.  If my word is gold then I tend to believe everyone else's is as well and tend to get upset when I find out different. It is hard to explain just how important commitment is to me. 

If you look the word commitment up in the dictionary one of the words used to define it is obligation which then is define as the act of binding or obliging oneself by a promise, contract or a sense of duty.  Simply put it is something you MUST do.  So to me if you say you will do something, I take it to mean you WILL do it.  I really don't think that is too much to ask.  

When my husband and I stood at the front of friends and family in a small church in Alabama, we made a commitment to love each other for the rest of our lives.  Now there are times we get mad at each other and may not like each other for one reason or another but NOTHING would keep us from loving each other because that is a commitment we made and we both take not only that but all our commitments seriously.  

Unfortunately too many people today are very flippant in their commitments.  Too many times they say they will do something knowing full well they have no intention of doing it.  I am sorry to say I have no place for these people in my life and to put it more frankly they have no place in team sports either.  I have seen it too many times.  A player says they want to be a part of the team and wants to play but when it comes right down to it all they really care is themselves.  They have no desire to be part of a team but only want the glory and recognition for themselves.  Basketball is very much a team sport.  Each player, coach, parent, fan, etc.  must all be committed to the game in order for it to work properly.  As a member of the team, each player must also commit to the good of the team rather than self.  Once a player breaks that commitment and turns to self, they have no place on the team and if that player isn't soon dealt with the entire team suffers.  This is a hard job as a coach.  Probably one of the hardest but its something that needs to be done.  I usually try and give people the benefit of the doubt but when it comes to commitment, there is no room for that because with commitment you are either in or out there is NO in between!!!!

Team Effort

God never ceases to amaze me in the way He conducts my life.  He also knows what people I need in my life on any given day.  What is more amazing to me is when He puts me in a situation where I think I am the one going to be teaching and helping but it turns out I am the one that does the learning and receiving.  Even though this basketball season is less than 2 weeks old, this is on of those situations.

I came into the season ready to teach, guide and guide my players not only in basketball but in life.  I was ready to lead them on the court, in Bible study and in life lessons.  I was ready to help them learn what it meant to play for Christ and honor and glorify God in all things.  I was ready to show them that you can show love and respect to your opponents and how to be the young ladies God intended them to be.  Little did I know that they would also teach me.

This past weekend was a true testament to that.

I started writing this post 4 days ago on Nov 12. It is now late night Nov 15 into wee hours Nov 16th.  Little did I know then just how real it would come to be.   My intent was to write about how the girls had taught me about certain things over their efforts and encouragement and motivation during team huddles at recent games.  About how they would come into the huddle and literally start talking to each other about what they needed to do and what was and wasn't working and as a coach you just stand and smile and let them finish because sometimes it means more coming from a teammate.  That was my intent BUT after the most recent game my mind went a different direction. 

I must say it was a hard game to watch and coach.  There are times as a coach you have nothing to say because things are going so well and then there are times like this game.  Times you're not sure what to say because nothing seems right.  I know as their coach they look at me for all the answers to what they are doing wrong and how to do what needs to be done, but honestly sometimes I don't know.  It breaks my heart but I just don't know.

I think the problem is that over the past few years of coaching teams that are "less competitive" I have lost my edge.  I have mellowed myself out so much that I tend to shove those emotions down when they start to arise for fear of saying the wrong thing or "hurting their feelings".  The teams over the last 3 years I had to do that and now that I have a team that needs it, I can't seem to bring myself to do.  I have passed it off as just being the "Christian coach" I want to be but that still doesn't work.  Tonight while watching videos to find clips to motivate my team, God used them to speak to me.  And I realized I have been fooling myself and my team. 

You see because of the mindset over the last few years, I realized I have not bee putting my entire effort into coaching this team the way they need to be coached.  I was dancing around the issue trying to the "Christian coach" I feel called to be.  In reality I was not being that Christian coach.  God created me to be who I am for a reason, emotions and all.  I realized that if I am not giving everything I have to my coaching, emotions, heart, desire, effort, then how in the world could I ask my players to do the same!!  I have always told myself and my players that I would NEVER ask them to do anything that I wouldn't do.  Guess I blew that one tonight!!!

So God has used them greatly to teach me but not the lesson I thought it was 4 days ago when I first began writing this blog post.  But I believe that this is a far greater lesson for both myself and them and that it will help all of us grow together.  I only hope that we can meet talk about, learn from, forgive and move on from this lesson and be all the more stronger on the other side.  It's all about the team effort we give and it starts with the coach!!!

 

Nicely Done

So the first official game for both teams is in the books and I must say I couldn't be more proud of them both.  White did an outstanding job executing to near perfection everything that was asked.  Everyone contributed and they came out with a huge win.  Blue team did outstanding.  They too executed well and if not for missed free throws and a few bad plays at the end would have pulled it out.


It's amazing as a coach to see the progression of the team over the course of the season.  Its been even more so with the group of girls.  We have had a long preseason getting ready for things and really haven't had much to judge our progress by.  But tonight proved we are right on track for both teams having a great season.  Each team has gotten better and better over the last few weeks.  The chemistry is finally starting to come around.  I realized tonight just how good these teams will be this season and even caught myself a few times being more of a fan than a coach and just enjoying watching them do what they do and do it well.  It was nice but I soon had to get back the reality and be a coach again.  It is a great feeling as a coach to watch from the sideline and see your team do exactly as they have been taught.  I hope they too can see that in themselves. 

I told both teams 2 things before tip-off. 1.) No matter what happens out there, be able to go home and look at yourself in the mirror and know you gave it your all, 2.) Above all, remember Who you are playing for.  They got the message!  They definitely  gave it there all and should look proudly in the mirror.  More importantly they played for their Audience of One and  brought honor and glory to Him in their actions and attitudes.  So my message to team tonight.... NICELY DONE, YOU ARE B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L

Progress

It's amazing to look back over the past month and see the progress things have made. Being a country girl.  I compare it to farm tractors.  Less than two weeks ago I felt like we were kinda like this.

We had a scrimmage this week and it was good to see that we had made great progress.  I'd say we were a little more like this:

Our goal of course would be to be more like this:

I do see us getting there but it will take time.  Right now we are in the process of tweaking the little things we need to in order to make things happen the way we want.  It is also the process of team chemistry.  Seeing that most of these girls have not played together at all or that much makes things hard on them.  Once they learn each other and really start to "gel" I think things will really start coming around.  To me that is one of the hardest things about coaching because it is something I can't control of fix and really have nothing to do with.  You just have to sit back and let it happen.  You can't force it and push it to move faster and depending on the team you never know how long it will take.  Just have to wait for it.

The good part is that my players can see the progress they have made and know things are working.  One of them even said it was just a matter of time and when the chemistry come around we'd be much better.  Its nice to know they feel the same.  I think maybe some team building may be in order.    That will really help.  As I told a parent the other night, when things come around and really start clicking they will be fun to watch.  WE will all be sitting on the edge of our seat until til because we know its just a matter of time.  We are still :

Slowly Growing

One thing I have learned over the years of coaching is that growth takes time.  Growth of the players into the team that you want them to become does not happen overnight or even in a few practices.  It's one of those things that slowly develops over time.  It can be very frustrating for me as the coach and for the players.  We tend to have the mindset that it should happen more quickly and as much as we want it to, it doesn't.  

One of the teams now has 2 scrimmages under their belt.  The first scrimmage was hard to watch.  It seemed we could get nothing right.  We had a hard time running our offense and was just throwing up 3's because it seemed they didn't know what to do.  It was not pretty.  Tonight we had our second.  While it wasn't pretty either, it was night and day difference in running our offense and our shot selection.  It was GROWTH.

Yes there is still growth that needs to happen and yes it will take time, but it WILL happen.  We, the players and me as a coach, need to keep that in mind and just continue to get better.  I don't expect it to just happen overnight, as much as I would love it to, but I know it will.  The hard part for all of us is not to get frustrated and down on ourselves for not being where we want to be.  The important thing is that we recognize where we need to get better, and work hard to do so.  We have to be careful not to get stagnant but continue to grow no matter how little it may be.  Its important to just KEEP SLOWLY GROWING!!

Little Things

Despite what some may say, little things are important both in basketball and in life.  The problem with little things is that they can add up to big things.  Take rebounding for example.  If you don't rebound the ball you can't score and the other team can.  That means you lose the game.  There is not one coach I know that would tell you rebounding is not important.  Yes its only one small aspect of the game but it is important.  However, I am talking about even smaller little things.

At the beginning of the season I told the girls that their attitudes and their treatment of their opponent is very important to me.  One thing I want them to get in the habit of doing is helping their opponent up when they are on the floor.  I know it seems like a minor things but it is important to me because it is a sign of respect and I want them to ALWAYS respect their opponent.  I also watch their attitudes closely both in practice and games (when we get to start them).  Attitude can tell you so much about a person and what they are thinking and doing and also thinking of doing.  I don't want a girl on the floor who is not in the correct frame of mind to play.  There are little signs everyone give off whether they know if or not about their attitudes.  I do my best to learn these early in the season and use them to me advantage all season.  If I feel a player is not the the correct state of mind to be on the floor, she will come out.

Take for example when a player gets angry at their opponent,  that is an easy one to spot.  If a player becomes angry at their opponent, they tend to not play well because they are more worried about what made them angry and possibly getting back at their opponent.  I for sure don't want it to come to that.  So I take them out and don't let them go back in until I am sure they are calm and the anger is gone.

As a Coach not only do the little things matter in my players, they matter in ME!  The little things I do make a huge difference in my players or at least I hope they do. Little things like writing personal notes of encouragement to them or praying for them by name on a regular basis whether they know if or not.  Encouraging them instead of talking down to them when they make a mistake and definitely never saying anything derogatory or using curse words as so many coaches use.  They way I carry myself on and off the floor makes a huge difference.  I want to make sure they my actions and my words match even in the little things.  Not getting angry myself when things don't go my way but instead trying to find the good in the situation and building on it.

So do the little things matter??  You bet they do!!  Why do they matter??  If the little things don't matter then the big things mean NOTHING!!!

Transparency

Over the last few weeks I have learned the art of transparency and just how good it can be.  But more than both of those I have learned the importance of it.  Its good because if frees us from having to constantly keep up and do things a certain way that is expected by others.  However, what makes it important is that it allows others to support us in ways neither us or them would have know otherwise.  The problem with being transparent is that most people are afraid because they feel it makes them weak or vulnerable.  They couldn't be more wrong.  It actually makes us STRONGER!
Case in point:  This week in family time (that's what we call or team devotional time), a player shared are very personal struggle.   One that she is probably still dealing with daily.  She became very transparent with her teammates about the struggle and almost couldn't finish her talk.  I commend her for being open, honest, and transparent.  Most would never have done this for fear of being judged, laughed at, or put down.  Instead however, her teams showed they supported her.  They encouraged her and I know if it comes right down to it they will pick her up if need be.  Her transparency will not only make her stronger but will make her team stronger.
As a coach,  I have tried to use this blog as a form of transparency for my players, their parents and any who wants to read it.  I hope I have somewhat succeeded.  I have learned this week that it seems to be paying off.  I have gotten several comments about being open, honest and transparent.  Those comments are an encouragement that helps keep me going and lets me know that my transparency is paying off.  It also helps keep me accountable to what I do and what I say/post.  Those both make me stronger.  It also helps make my team stronger because they see their coach as a real person one who struggles with things and not above failure.  I hope they also see how much I care for them and want the to succeed both on and off the court.  This all makes them stronger and it all makes us as a team stronger. 
I have had coaches in the past say that a coach should not to be this way to their players.  We are an authority figure and we shouldn't let them know these things.  I TOTALLY disagree.  I feel it helps us and them be a better team and better people over all by being transparent.  I believe that a coaches job is more than just about the sport you coach and yes even more about wins and loses.  Its about the other things you teach.  Its about character,honesty, respect and integrity.  Its about helping the players we coach become the men or women that God created them to be.  The ONLY way we can do this is by showing them the person God made us to be, by being transparent.  There are examples of this all through the Bible.  Look at Paul in Romans.  Paul was one of the great leaders of the church and many people looked up to him.  But in Romans 7:14-21, he talks about the sins he struggles with and how horrible he feels he is for them.  Even Jesus had struggles.  Yes even He was tempted by the devil but the one that we seem to forget is in the Garden just before he was arrested.  Mark 14:36, Matthew 26:42,Luke 22:42 All tell us that even He struggled with what He knew He had been sent to earth to do.  "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will but yours be done."  Jesus struggled with fulling His "job".  He didn't want to die.  He was transparent enough to show that.  If we are to be like Christ, shouldn't we to be transparent?
Being transparent is not a bad thing especially if we have Christ first in our life.  If you look transparent up in the dictionary, one definition you see is "manifest, obvious".  As Christians we are to allow Christ to manifest in us.  If this is true then when we become transparent, people won't see us but see Christ in us.

1 John 4:9

By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him.

 2 Corinthians 2:14

But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place.

 2 Corinthians 4:11

For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh.

A Little Encouragement Goes a Long Way

 

It's been a tough week for me.  Monday I was unexpectedly terminated from my job (my non-coaching job). I must say I really didn't see it coming but I had been looking to leave for some time.  Non the less it was tough to take.  I have NEVER been terminated from anything.  What made it even worse was that I was given no reason.  Usually when I do something wrong I like to know about it so I can correct it for the future.   Now I don't have that chance because I was not given a reason even though I asked, they refused.  I drove home mad and emotional.  I didn't know what I was gonna do.  I sat in the silence of my living room not knowing how to react.  I think the only thing that kept me from totally breaking down were my sweet dogs in my lap wanting to play and snuggle.   Soon I had to pick myself up, put my game face on and head to pracitce.

It was all I could do not to show the emotion or  frustration I was feeling inside.  Basketball is my outlet and it certainly was that day.  For those 2 hours I could forget about the "real world" and all that had happened and just focus on my team.  It made me cherish them and our time together even more.  Tuesday was hard.  Nothing to do. No outlet.  I think I almost feel into depression if not again for my dogs.  Funny how they can do that.  Then Wednesday came,  and basketball practice again.  We had "family time" before pracitce when we get together for devotional time and just talk.  At the end of this time I was handed a stack of cards and told, " we wrote these for you but you can't read them till you get home."  I just smiled.  The week before I had written cards to each of my players and told them the same thing. I had written those cards not to get anything in return but just to encourage my players and let them know I cared.  I had done it for other teams but never had a team written me ones back. I stuck them in my bag and couldn't wait to read them.  

Practice that day was a little more laid back and fun cause that's how I felt.  After the last 2 days of contemplating, I needed some fun.  So that it was.  On the drive home after pracitce I kept thinking about those cards and couldn't wait to get home and read them.  I walked in grabbed the stack and sat in my chair in the silence of the living room and began reading (thankfully my husband knew to stay away,  Love you honey!!!).  Shortly thereafter tears began to roll down my cheeks.  Their words so pure, innocent, loving  and perfect.  It was exactly what I needed.  Just simple things like "thank you", "be strong", I'm glad your my coach" among others.  They all touched my heart so dearly.  I was overcome with emotions.  Some had been bottled up for days and others just appearing but all coming at once.  I only knew of one thing to do.  I bowed my head and prayed.  I prayed for those players and for God allowing me to be their coach.  I prayed for God's hand on them, on my and our season.  I prayed thank God for knowing just when I needed their encouragement and finally for His guidance in my current situation.  

Those girls didn't know what I would be going thorough when they wrote those cards, but God did.  They didn't know I'd need a pick me up on that day to see something God wanted me to see, but God did.  That night after I read and cried and prayer, God reminded me that He is in control.  He knows whats best for me and the HE WILL provide no matter what.  He reminded me that I am to lay it all in His hands and He will take care of it.  I have tired my best to do that with this team but fallen short in the rest of my life.  Guess He was just reminding me of that also.  He knew a little encouragement would go a long way!!

 

Tough Decisions

 

Coaches sometimes have to make though decisions.  Much tougher then most people think.  This week I had to make one of those.  In all my years of coaching I have never really had to do it.  It was usually either decided for me or just flat out didn't have to worry about it.   When I was told at the beginning of the season that it was mine to make, I thought OK no big deal.   I soon realized how wrong I was.  

I have 17 high school girl players.  The most I have Ever had.  The task was given to me to divide them into two teams, not necessarily a varsity and a jv but two varsity teams with one being just a bit more competitive than the other.  The first few players was fairly easy however, as i went down the list I realize just how donating the task ahead of me was.  Most of the players were all pretty much locked in the middle.  How would I ever decide who would go where.  I am not ashamed to tell you that I agonized over this for a couple of weeks.  I thought at one time I was ready but just before I put out the list decided to wait.    Finally I just starting praying about it.  I asked God to show me where to put everyone.  Why?

When you see coaching as a ministry, you don't necessarily base teams on skill.  You have to base it on what's inside of each player.  You have to base it on what is best for each player in the long run for each player.  You have to base it on what each player will get from it.  You have to base things that as a coach YOU CAN"T SEE.  Good news is, I am on speaking terms with THE ONE who can see them.  So I leaned on Him.  Then just watching the girls play one day in practice it just happened.  It was as if I could see the teams and who was where and how each young lady had grown on that team.  It was a true vision form Him.  I have told myself all along that I didn't want this to be my team.  I wanted it to be God's Team.  That day it completely became His team.  I just pray I won't try to take it back anytime soon.

BEAUTIFUL

My hope was to sit down and write about what an awesome first week I had with my new team but those words just aren't coming.  I am not saying it wasn't awesome because it so was.  Probably the best first week of a season I have ever had.  Instead however, I keep thinking about the players themselves and the impact on their lives. 

So far I have had the privilege of meeting 15 of the most Godly young ladies ever to the grace the court.  Every time I see them I can't help but smile and I don't know why.  Every time I think about it I just get giddy.  These girls are AWESOME!  No matter what situation you put them in or what rigors I  put them through, they do it all with a smile on their face.  Not once have I heard a complaint, which considering the "torture" I have put them through the past few days says  a lot. I have coached junior high, high school, private school, public school, and even college but NEVER have I encountered a group with that give it all no excuses attitude.  I have thought long and hard about why they have this totally different attitude then any other team I have coached and I can only think of one thing -- B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L.

Now as you notice I am using BEAUTIFUL as an acrostic.  This is actually the basis of a weekly devotional time that I will begin with the team in a few weeks.  It will be called family time.  I came up with this long before I met any of these girls (got the main idea from a coaching friend and came up with my own version).  It was just something that God laid on my heart to do doing the summer and I see why now because these girls are truly B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L  For those of you wondering here's what it stands for:

Beleive
Encourage
Attitude
Utmost
Trust
Integrity
Family
Unity
Love

Each word has some scripture and devotional thought and application to it but I won't give those away just yet.  I may or may not share those on here during the weeks we are doing them.  My point in this however it that I can already see those young ladies taking their BEAUTIFUL shape and that's what set them apart.  I am not sure why God chose me to help them discover their BEAUTIFUL selves but I will allow Him to use me to do so.  I pray He will help me be BEAUTIFUL so that I can help them as well and that my life would be a continuing example of His love and His true BEAUTIFUL grace.

A Coach's Christmas Morning

 

As the summer draws to a close and school is ready to start, I am reminded that Basketball Season is just around the corner.  Its this time of year that makes me as excited as a kid on Christmas morning.  I usually lay awake at might dreaming of and preparing for the season ahead.  The first day of practice is just like my Christmas morning.  No matter how many seasons I coach its always the same.  However, as the excitement builds so do the nerves.  I have been told several times that I shouldn't be nervous cause I've been doing this so long, but then again no matter how ling I have been doing this, the nerves always come.  Its the best of both worlds I guess.

This year is no different.  Our first team meeting is only a few weeks out and I feel like I have this huge present in front of my ready to tear the paper off and see what's inside.  At the same time, I am nervous to see what gift is inside.  I already know that this year will be totally different than any other.  This is because of several different factors.  First, the caliber of players I have.  This group of girls that I will be coaching will probably be the most talented group of girls I have ever coached.  I again am both excited and scared to death because of this.  Second, the nature of the team I am coaching.  It is a home-school team and I am quickly learning that they are a whole different breed.  That's not anything bad but you just have to learn to deal with not only the players but the parents in a different way.  One good thing with this is the level of support I have already gotten form the parents and leadership.  It is AWESOME!  If you take all the support I have had in the past and double it you still really can't come close to their level.  The third factor is probably the most important in that I know that I am where I am suppose to be.  In the past I coached for the fun, the job and the competition, and me.  This year I have a whole new mindset in that I coach for ONLY one reason, TO BRING GLORY TO GOD!  This again is both exciting and scary for so many reason.

So with each passing day I sit there looking at my present, waiting anxiously for mom and dad to finally wake up so I can rip the paper off and see what "Santa" brought this year.  Maybe if we make enough noise they will get up?!?!?

Coaching IS....

Before I get into the final lesson God is teaching me I must give and update form the last entry.  As I said I had two wonderful opportunities.  I was leaning more toward one and since then, I got the position that I was leaning towards.   As I look back over the entire process I see that God really was in control and that I ended up right where He wanted me.  He put me in a place where Coaching can be a ministry, which is lesson 4 He has thought me.

Coaching IS my ministry.

 This lesson goes with the previous lesson of doing more and more for God doesn't make me more "spiritual".  When I was learning that lesson, I was really seeking the ministry path God had for me.  I knew He had called me into the ministry but for some reason had no idea what that looked like anymore.  I tried different avenues but no matter where I turned, not seemed to be where He wanted me.  So when i learned the lesson that doing more isn't better, I stepped back and said, "OK God, then I will just not seek ministry opportunities anymore until you show me what my ministry is.  

At this time I was really starting to look for coaching opportunities.  Since i was pretty much back a square one on the coaching scene, I decided to revamp my coaching philosophy and also come up with a mission statement for my coaching.  This was something new that I had learned from reading the book InsideOut Coaching.  I would recommend this book to all coaches, as it will truly change the way you coach and the way you look at coaching.  I had never really written a mission statement before so I did a little research to find out how to do one.  The definition is : reason for existing. The mission statement should guide the actions of the organization, spell out its overall goal, provide a path, and guide decision-making.  It's like a goal for what the company wants to do for the world.  It basically came down to why you do the thing you are writing the mission statement for.  I took lots of time and really thought about why I coached.  

In this process God made it extremely clear that my ministry had been right there all along.  I always knew that ministry should be something that you love doing and something that you couldn't see you not doing.  Problem was, I never thought of coaching that way.  It took all these other things going on in my life for me to finally realize that Coaching is my ministry.  So my coaching mission statement is : I will use my coaching to bring glory to God, and to help young ladies become the women that God intended them to be and to help bring others to His saving love.  I will allow others to see God in my coaching and use the influence I have to bring others closer to Him.  I will instill the value in my players to always bring Glory to God in all they do and to use their God given talents and abilities to impact the live of others for His glory.  

Now that I realize that coaching is my ministry and true calling, I see it in a whole new light and with a renewed mind.  Its amazing how good I feel about going into my next position, realizing this.  Thankfully, I will be coaching for a Christian organization so I will be able to really make it a ministry.  I am extremely excited and have a whole new fire for coaching again.  If you are seeking your ministry and need help finding it, ask yourself this one question as I did.  What's the one thing that I do that allows me to have an impact on others that I would do for free?  When you find the answer to that, you've found your ministry.

Control -- Third lesson

I love playing video games and have since I was a kid.  Nintendo first came out and we thought we'd hit the big time and retired our Atari.  I still love all those buttons.  I guess I have a thing for buttons.  Even the TV remote just feels nice in my hand.  I've often wondered why but one day I realized its about control.  Video games are fun because you get to control something that in real life you don't have control over.  One of my all time favorite Nintendo Games was Top Gun.  I loved flying that fighter jet on one mission after another and then the thrill of landing it on the carrier and seeing the words MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.  If only life were that easy. 

The next lesson I have learned through all of this (and am still leaning even as I write this) is :

God is in control and no matter how much I think I am or wish I was, I AM NOT!

I am not sure why that is so hard for us as humans to understand, remember and get right.  Going into to basketball "off-season", I thought everything was great.  I was planning my recruiting, planning my summer, planning my work schedule.  Only problem was the "MY".  God had a different plan and HE wanted me to know it right off.  He knew things needed to be better in my personal relationship with Him and he knew there were better places for me to show His love and glory.  He took me out of the college where I was so He could put where He wanted and needed me.   

So I jumped in full force.  Did all I could to find my next coaching "gig" and the place to do His work.  Then is came.  the "perfect" fit.  A christian high school with a growing program that has had a tarnished reputation to be rebuilt and needed someone to do that.  They had a great future ahead of them and I just knew I was to be a part of it.  The initial interview was awesome (had she had her choice I think she would have offered me the job on the spot).  Then the second interview with the board came.  It was sorta strange.  Not a lot was said or really talked about.  I did my best to present myself the same way as before.  The tension (dealing with parents) was though but I came away thinking it went well.  I just knew I had it.  I was even getting my plays ready and planning the first meetings.  But then.....the email came.  I smiled when I saw it pop in my inbox because I just knew what it said.  I clicked, I read , my heart sank.  "we have decided to go with another candidate."  I couldn't believe it!!  That was MY job!  No one could have been more qualified or prepared for it than me.  It took a few days to get over but I soon realized again God was in control.  There was a reason He didn't want me there and there was reason He needed me somewhere else.  

So even today I wait!  I have 2 great opportunities that are even better than I have could imagined.  Either would be wonderful.  I wait for the decision of others to decide my future.  I wait for God to show His wisdom of where He wants me.  I wait for God to have grace and mercy on this wondering soul to find a place.  I wait, because God has the controller and only He can land the jet!

Lesson 2: More "Spiritual"

The next lesson God thought me I think came about because of my reaction to the first one because these were pretty much happening at the same time.  As I began seeing the need of other around me, I figured that God was showing me this because he wanted me to do something about it.  I guess I have always tried to "fix" things and that really kicked in here. 

I instantly began trying to start new ministries, get into in current ones and try to fill my life with more and more and trying to find more ways to "minister" to others.  I even went so far has to decide that our small church needed a full on cancer ministry.  I contacted a place to helps churches get started, got all the information and asked our pastor to meet to discuss it.  At the time he was pretty busy and and asked if we could postpone it a bit.  This angered me very much.  Here I was trying to do what God "told" me to do and this pastor was ruining it.  Later he sent me information on another cancer ministry in the area started by a former member.  "Fine,"  I thought, "but mine is gonna be bigger and better than this.  Mine has more meaning." 

Over the course of several weeks things kept us busy and we were unable to meet.  I soon realized that the drive was no longer there to do this ministry.  I was now onto bigger and better things.  Whatever that was.  Then God whacked me on the head with a stop sign.  I was sitting in church, only half way listening to the sermon.  When something was said that caught my attention.  I don't remember exactly what it was but I knew God was saying it to me.  I almost had a full on breakdown right there but luckily was able to contain it.  I felt God literally screaming at me "STOP THIS!"  I of course responded with ," What do you mean I am doing what you told me to do."  I think God chuckled at that.  Yes He has a sense of humor.

That's when He hugged me up and in His loving way said, "Heather, you are not following me.  You are following emotions.  I never told you to do any of this.  I showed you these people around you yes but I only need you to empathize with them, support them, encourage them, show them my love.  I don't need to do all this other stuff.  All I need is for you to be there.  Slow down and listen to ME NOT your emotions." 

I melted.  I blocked everything out and just melted and rested int he arms of my Abba!  Oh what a feeling.  AS church was closing I have no idea what was going on but then I heard the Pastor say that He was going to be starting a new series in the next few weeks about encouragement.  I chuckled.