Lesson 2: More "Spiritual"

The next lesson God thought me I think came about because of my reaction to the first one because these were pretty much happening at the same time.  As I began seeing the need of other around me, I figured that God was showing me this because he wanted me to do something about it.  I guess I have always tried to "fix" things and that really kicked in here. 

I instantly began trying to start new ministries, get into in current ones and try to fill my life with more and more and trying to find more ways to "minister" to others.  I even went so far has to decide that our small church needed a full on cancer ministry.  I contacted a place to helps churches get started, got all the information and asked our pastor to meet to discuss it.  At the time he was pretty busy and and asked if we could postpone it a bit.  This angered me very much.  Here I was trying to do what God "told" me to do and this pastor was ruining it.  Later he sent me information on another cancer ministry in the area started by a former member.  "Fine,"  I thought, "but mine is gonna be bigger and better than this.  Mine has more meaning." 

Over the course of several weeks things kept us busy and we were unable to meet.  I soon realized that the drive was no longer there to do this ministry.  I was now onto bigger and better things.  Whatever that was.  Then God whacked me on the head with a stop sign.  I was sitting in church, only half way listening to the sermon.  When something was said that caught my attention.  I don't remember exactly what it was but I knew God was saying it to me.  I almost had a full on breakdown right there but luckily was able to contain it.  I felt God literally screaming at me "STOP THIS!"  I of course responded with ," What do you mean I am doing what you told me to do."  I think God chuckled at that.  Yes He has a sense of humor.

That's when He hugged me up and in His loving way said, "Heather, you are not following me.  You are following emotions.  I never told you to do any of this.  I showed you these people around you yes but I only need you to empathize with them, support them, encourage them, show them my love.  I don't need to do all this other stuff.  All I need is for you to be there.  Slow down and listen to ME NOT your emotions." 

I melted.  I blocked everything out and just melted and rested int he arms of my Abba!  Oh what a feeling.  AS church was closing I have no idea what was going on but then I heard the Pastor say that He was going to be starting a new series in the next few weeks about encouragement.  I chuckled.