A Little Encouragement Goes a Long Way

 

It's been a tough week for me.  Monday I was unexpectedly terminated from my job (my non-coaching job). I must say I really didn't see it coming but I had been looking to leave for some time.  Non the less it was tough to take.  I have NEVER been terminated from anything.  What made it even worse was that I was given no reason.  Usually when I do something wrong I like to know about it so I can correct it for the future.   Now I don't have that chance because I was not given a reason even though I asked, they refused.  I drove home mad and emotional.  I didn't know what I was gonna do.  I sat in the silence of my living room not knowing how to react.  I think the only thing that kept me from totally breaking down were my sweet dogs in my lap wanting to play and snuggle.   Soon I had to pick myself up, put my game face on and head to pracitce.

It was all I could do not to show the emotion or  frustration I was feeling inside.  Basketball is my outlet and it certainly was that day.  For those 2 hours I could forget about the "real world" and all that had happened and just focus on my team.  It made me cherish them and our time together even more.  Tuesday was hard.  Nothing to do. No outlet.  I think I almost feel into depression if not again for my dogs.  Funny how they can do that.  Then Wednesday came,  and basketball practice again.  We had "family time" before pracitce when we get together for devotional time and just talk.  At the end of this time I was handed a stack of cards and told, " we wrote these for you but you can't read them till you get home."  I just smiled.  The week before I had written cards to each of my players and told them the same thing. I had written those cards not to get anything in return but just to encourage my players and let them know I cared.  I had done it for other teams but never had a team written me ones back. I stuck them in my bag and couldn't wait to read them.  

Practice that day was a little more laid back and fun cause that's how I felt.  After the last 2 days of contemplating, I needed some fun.  So that it was.  On the drive home after pracitce I kept thinking about those cards and couldn't wait to get home and read them.  I walked in grabbed the stack and sat in my chair in the silence of the living room and began reading (thankfully my husband knew to stay away,  Love you honey!!!).  Shortly thereafter tears began to roll down my cheeks.  Their words so pure, innocent, loving  and perfect.  It was exactly what I needed.  Just simple things like "thank you", "be strong", I'm glad your my coach" among others.  They all touched my heart so dearly.  I was overcome with emotions.  Some had been bottled up for days and others just appearing but all coming at once.  I only knew of one thing to do.  I bowed my head and prayed.  I prayed for those players and for God allowing me to be their coach.  I prayed for God's hand on them, on my and our season.  I prayed thank God for knowing just when I needed their encouragement and finally for His guidance in my current situation.  

Those girls didn't know what I would be going thorough when they wrote those cards, but God did.  They didn't know I'd need a pick me up on that day to see something God wanted me to see, but God did.  That night after I read and cried and prayer, God reminded me that He is in control.  He knows whats best for me and the HE WILL provide no matter what.  He reminded me that I am to lay it all in His hands and He will take care of it.  I have tired my best to do that with this team but fallen short in the rest of my life.  Guess He was just reminding me of that also.  He knew a little encouragement would go a long way!!

 

Tough Decisions

 

Coaches sometimes have to make though decisions.  Much tougher then most people think.  This week I had to make one of those.  In all my years of coaching I have never really had to do it.  It was usually either decided for me or just flat out didn't have to worry about it.   When I was told at the beginning of the season that it was mine to make, I thought OK no big deal.   I soon realized how wrong I was.  

I have 17 high school girl players.  The most I have Ever had.  The task was given to me to divide them into two teams, not necessarily a varsity and a jv but two varsity teams with one being just a bit more competitive than the other.  The first few players was fairly easy however, as i went down the list I realize just how donating the task ahead of me was.  Most of the players were all pretty much locked in the middle.  How would I ever decide who would go where.  I am not ashamed to tell you that I agonized over this for a couple of weeks.  I thought at one time I was ready but just before I put out the list decided to wait.    Finally I just starting praying about it.  I asked God to show me where to put everyone.  Why?

When you see coaching as a ministry, you don't necessarily base teams on skill.  You have to base it on what's inside of each player.  You have to base it on what is best for each player in the long run for each player.  You have to base it on what each player will get from it.  You have to base things that as a coach YOU CAN"T SEE.  Good news is, I am on speaking terms with THE ONE who can see them.  So I leaned on Him.  Then just watching the girls play one day in practice it just happened.  It was as if I could see the teams and who was where and how each young lady had grown on that team.  It was a true vision form Him.  I have told myself all along that I didn't want this to be my team.  I wanted it to be God's Team.  That day it completely became His team.  I just pray I won't try to take it back anytime soon.

BEAUTIFUL

My hope was to sit down and write about what an awesome first week I had with my new team but those words just aren't coming.  I am not saying it wasn't awesome because it so was.  Probably the best first week of a season I have ever had.  Instead however, I keep thinking about the players themselves and the impact on their lives. 

So far I have had the privilege of meeting 15 of the most Godly young ladies ever to the grace the court.  Every time I see them I can't help but smile and I don't know why.  Every time I think about it I just get giddy.  These girls are AWESOME!  No matter what situation you put them in or what rigors I  put them through, they do it all with a smile on their face.  Not once have I heard a complaint, which considering the "torture" I have put them through the past few days says  a lot. I have coached junior high, high school, private school, public school, and even college but NEVER have I encountered a group with that give it all no excuses attitude.  I have thought long and hard about why they have this totally different attitude then any other team I have coached and I can only think of one thing -- B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L.

Now as you notice I am using BEAUTIFUL as an acrostic.  This is actually the basis of a weekly devotional time that I will begin with the team in a few weeks.  It will be called family time.  I came up with this long before I met any of these girls (got the main idea from a coaching friend and came up with my own version).  It was just something that God laid on my heart to do doing the summer and I see why now because these girls are truly B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L  For those of you wondering here's what it stands for:

Beleive
Encourage
Attitude
Utmost
Trust
Integrity
Family
Unity
Love

Each word has some scripture and devotional thought and application to it but I won't give those away just yet.  I may or may not share those on here during the weeks we are doing them.  My point in this however it that I can already see those young ladies taking their BEAUTIFUL shape and that's what set them apart.  I am not sure why God chose me to help them discover their BEAUTIFUL selves but I will allow Him to use me to do so.  I pray He will help me be BEAUTIFUL so that I can help them as well and that my life would be a continuing example of His love and His true BEAUTIFUL grace.

A Coach's Christmas Morning

 

As the summer draws to a close and school is ready to start, I am reminded that Basketball Season is just around the corner.  Its this time of year that makes me as excited as a kid on Christmas morning.  I usually lay awake at might dreaming of and preparing for the season ahead.  The first day of practice is just like my Christmas morning.  No matter how many seasons I coach its always the same.  However, as the excitement builds so do the nerves.  I have been told several times that I shouldn't be nervous cause I've been doing this so long, but then again no matter how ling I have been doing this, the nerves always come.  Its the best of both worlds I guess.

This year is no different.  Our first team meeting is only a few weeks out and I feel like I have this huge present in front of my ready to tear the paper off and see what's inside.  At the same time, I am nervous to see what gift is inside.  I already know that this year will be totally different than any other.  This is because of several different factors.  First, the caliber of players I have.  This group of girls that I will be coaching will probably be the most talented group of girls I have ever coached.  I again am both excited and scared to death because of this.  Second, the nature of the team I am coaching.  It is a home-school team and I am quickly learning that they are a whole different breed.  That's not anything bad but you just have to learn to deal with not only the players but the parents in a different way.  One good thing with this is the level of support I have already gotten form the parents and leadership.  It is AWESOME!  If you take all the support I have had in the past and double it you still really can't come close to their level.  The third factor is probably the most important in that I know that I am where I am suppose to be.  In the past I coached for the fun, the job and the competition, and me.  This year I have a whole new mindset in that I coach for ONLY one reason, TO BRING GLORY TO GOD!  This again is both exciting and scary for so many reason.

So with each passing day I sit there looking at my present, waiting anxiously for mom and dad to finally wake up so I can rip the paper off and see what "Santa" brought this year.  Maybe if we make enough noise they will get up?!?!?

Coaching IS....

Before I get into the final lesson God is teaching me I must give and update form the last entry.  As I said I had two wonderful opportunities.  I was leaning more toward one and since then, I got the position that I was leaning towards.   As I look back over the entire process I see that God really was in control and that I ended up right where He wanted me.  He put me in a place where Coaching can be a ministry, which is lesson 4 He has thought me.

Coaching IS my ministry.

 This lesson goes with the previous lesson of doing more and more for God doesn't make me more "spiritual".  When I was learning that lesson, I was really seeking the ministry path God had for me.  I knew He had called me into the ministry but for some reason had no idea what that looked like anymore.  I tried different avenues but no matter where I turned, not seemed to be where He wanted me.  So when i learned the lesson that doing more isn't better, I stepped back and said, "OK God, then I will just not seek ministry opportunities anymore until you show me what my ministry is.  

At this time I was really starting to look for coaching opportunities.  Since i was pretty much back a square one on the coaching scene, I decided to revamp my coaching philosophy and also come up with a mission statement for my coaching.  This was something new that I had learned from reading the book InsideOut Coaching.  I would recommend this book to all coaches, as it will truly change the way you coach and the way you look at coaching.  I had never really written a mission statement before so I did a little research to find out how to do one.  The definition is : reason for existing. The mission statement should guide the actions of the organization, spell out its overall goal, provide a path, and guide decision-making.  It's like a goal for what the company wants to do for the world.  It basically came down to why you do the thing you are writing the mission statement for.  I took lots of time and really thought about why I coached.  

In this process God made it extremely clear that my ministry had been right there all along.  I always knew that ministry should be something that you love doing and something that you couldn't see you not doing.  Problem was, I never thought of coaching that way.  It took all these other things going on in my life for me to finally realize that Coaching is my ministry.  So my coaching mission statement is : I will use my coaching to bring glory to God, and to help young ladies become the women that God intended them to be and to help bring others to His saving love.  I will allow others to see God in my coaching and use the influence I have to bring others closer to Him.  I will instill the value in my players to always bring Glory to God in all they do and to use their God given talents and abilities to impact the live of others for His glory.  

Now that I realize that coaching is my ministry and true calling, I see it in a whole new light and with a renewed mind.  Its amazing how good I feel about going into my next position, realizing this.  Thankfully, I will be coaching for a Christian organization so I will be able to really make it a ministry.  I am extremely excited and have a whole new fire for coaching again.  If you are seeking your ministry and need help finding it, ask yourself this one question as I did.  What's the one thing that I do that allows me to have an impact on others that I would do for free?  When you find the answer to that, you've found your ministry.

Control -- Third lesson

I love playing video games and have since I was a kid.  Nintendo first came out and we thought we'd hit the big time and retired our Atari.  I still love all those buttons.  I guess I have a thing for buttons.  Even the TV remote just feels nice in my hand.  I've often wondered why but one day I realized its about control.  Video games are fun because you get to control something that in real life you don't have control over.  One of my all time favorite Nintendo Games was Top Gun.  I loved flying that fighter jet on one mission after another and then the thrill of landing it on the carrier and seeing the words MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.  If only life were that easy. 

The next lesson I have learned through all of this (and am still leaning even as I write this) is :

God is in control and no matter how much I think I am or wish I was, I AM NOT!

I am not sure why that is so hard for us as humans to understand, remember and get right.  Going into to basketball "off-season", I thought everything was great.  I was planning my recruiting, planning my summer, planning my work schedule.  Only problem was the "MY".  God had a different plan and HE wanted me to know it right off.  He knew things needed to be better in my personal relationship with Him and he knew there were better places for me to show His love and glory.  He took me out of the college where I was so He could put where He wanted and needed me.   

So I jumped in full force.  Did all I could to find my next coaching "gig" and the place to do His work.  Then is came.  the "perfect" fit.  A christian high school with a growing program that has had a tarnished reputation to be rebuilt and needed someone to do that.  They had a great future ahead of them and I just knew I was to be a part of it.  The initial interview was awesome (had she had her choice I think she would have offered me the job on the spot).  Then the second interview with the board came.  It was sorta strange.  Not a lot was said or really talked about.  I did my best to present myself the same way as before.  The tension (dealing with parents) was though but I came away thinking it went well.  I just knew I had it.  I was even getting my plays ready and planning the first meetings.  But then.....the email came.  I smiled when I saw it pop in my inbox because I just knew what it said.  I clicked, I read , my heart sank.  "we have decided to go with another candidate."  I couldn't believe it!!  That was MY job!  No one could have been more qualified or prepared for it than me.  It took a few days to get over but I soon realized again God was in control.  There was a reason He didn't want me there and there was reason He needed me somewhere else.  

So even today I wait!  I have 2 great opportunities that are even better than I have could imagined.  Either would be wonderful.  I wait for the decision of others to decide my future.  I wait for God to show His wisdom of where He wants me.  I wait for God to have grace and mercy on this wondering soul to find a place.  I wait, because God has the controller and only He can land the jet!

Lesson 2: More "Spiritual"

The next lesson God thought me I think came about because of my reaction to the first one because these were pretty much happening at the same time.  As I began seeing the need of other around me, I figured that God was showing me this because he wanted me to do something about it.  I guess I have always tried to "fix" things and that really kicked in here. 

I instantly began trying to start new ministries, get into in current ones and try to fill my life with more and more and trying to find more ways to "minister" to others.  I even went so far has to decide that our small church needed a full on cancer ministry.  I contacted a place to helps churches get started, got all the information and asked our pastor to meet to discuss it.  At the time he was pretty busy and and asked if we could postpone it a bit.  This angered me very much.  Here I was trying to do what God "told" me to do and this pastor was ruining it.  Later he sent me information on another cancer ministry in the area started by a former member.  "Fine,"  I thought, "but mine is gonna be bigger and better than this.  Mine has more meaning." 

Over the course of several weeks things kept us busy and we were unable to meet.  I soon realized that the drive was no longer there to do this ministry.  I was now onto bigger and better things.  Whatever that was.  Then God whacked me on the head with a stop sign.  I was sitting in church, only half way listening to the sermon.  When something was said that caught my attention.  I don't remember exactly what it was but I knew God was saying it to me.  I almost had a full on breakdown right there but luckily was able to contain it.  I felt God literally screaming at me "STOP THIS!"  I of course responded with ," What do you mean I am doing what you told me to do."  I think God chuckled at that.  Yes He has a sense of humor.

That's when He hugged me up and in His loving way said, "Heather, you are not following me.  You are following emotions.  I never told you to do any of this.  I showed you these people around you yes but I only need you to empathize with them, support them, encourage them, show them my love.  I don't need to do all this other stuff.  All I need is for you to be there.  Slow down and listen to ME NOT your emotions." 

I melted.  I blocked everything out and just melted and rested int he arms of my Abba!  Oh what a feeling.  AS church was closing I have no idea what was going on but then I heard the Pastor say that He was going to be starting a new series in the next few weeks about encouragement.  I chuckled.