Coaching IS....

Before I get into the final lesson God is teaching me I must give and update form the last entry.  As I said I had two wonderful opportunities.  I was leaning more toward one and since then, I got the position that I was leaning towards.   As I look back over the entire process I see that God really was in control and that I ended up right where He wanted me.  He put me in a place where Coaching can be a ministry, which is lesson 4 He has thought me.

Coaching IS my ministry.

 This lesson goes with the previous lesson of doing more and more for God doesn't make me more "spiritual".  When I was learning that lesson, I was really seeking the ministry path God had for me.  I knew He had called me into the ministry but for some reason had no idea what that looked like anymore.  I tried different avenues but no matter where I turned, not seemed to be where He wanted me.  So when i learned the lesson that doing more isn't better, I stepped back and said, "OK God, then I will just not seek ministry opportunities anymore until you show me what my ministry is.  

At this time I was really starting to look for coaching opportunities.  Since i was pretty much back a square one on the coaching scene, I decided to revamp my coaching philosophy and also come up with a mission statement for my coaching.  This was something new that I had learned from reading the book InsideOut Coaching.  I would recommend this book to all coaches, as it will truly change the way you coach and the way you look at coaching.  I had never really written a mission statement before so I did a little research to find out how to do one.  The definition is : reason for existing. The mission statement should guide the actions of the organization, spell out its overall goal, provide a path, and guide decision-making.  It's like a goal for what the company wants to do for the world.  It basically came down to why you do the thing you are writing the mission statement for.  I took lots of time and really thought about why I coached.  

In this process God made it extremely clear that my ministry had been right there all along.  I always knew that ministry should be something that you love doing and something that you couldn't see you not doing.  Problem was, I never thought of coaching that way.  It took all these other things going on in my life for me to finally realize that Coaching is my ministry.  So my coaching mission statement is : I will use my coaching to bring glory to God, and to help young ladies become the women that God intended them to be and to help bring others to His saving love.  I will allow others to see God in my coaching and use the influence I have to bring others closer to Him.  I will instill the value in my players to always bring Glory to God in all they do and to use their God given talents and abilities to impact the live of others for His glory.  

Now that I realize that coaching is my ministry and true calling, I see it in a whole new light and with a renewed mind.  Its amazing how good I feel about going into my next position, realizing this.  Thankfully, I will be coaching for a Christian organization so I will be able to really make it a ministry.  I am extremely excited and have a whole new fire for coaching again.  If you are seeking your ministry and need help finding it, ask yourself this one question as I did.  What's the one thing that I do that allows me to have an impact on others that I would do for free?  When you find the answer to that, you've found your ministry.

Control -- Third lesson

I love playing video games and have since I was a kid.  Nintendo first came out and we thought we'd hit the big time and retired our Atari.  I still love all those buttons.  I guess I have a thing for buttons.  Even the TV remote just feels nice in my hand.  I've often wondered why but one day I realized its about control.  Video games are fun because you get to control something that in real life you don't have control over.  One of my all time favorite Nintendo Games was Top Gun.  I loved flying that fighter jet on one mission after another and then the thrill of landing it on the carrier and seeing the words MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.  If only life were that easy. 

The next lesson I have learned through all of this (and am still leaning even as I write this) is :

God is in control and no matter how much I think I am or wish I was, I AM NOT!

I am not sure why that is so hard for us as humans to understand, remember and get right.  Going into to basketball "off-season", I thought everything was great.  I was planning my recruiting, planning my summer, planning my work schedule.  Only problem was the "MY".  God had a different plan and HE wanted me to know it right off.  He knew things needed to be better in my personal relationship with Him and he knew there were better places for me to show His love and glory.  He took me out of the college where I was so He could put where He wanted and needed me.   

So I jumped in full force.  Did all I could to find my next coaching "gig" and the place to do His work.  Then is came.  the "perfect" fit.  A christian high school with a growing program that has had a tarnished reputation to be rebuilt and needed someone to do that.  They had a great future ahead of them and I just knew I was to be a part of it.  The initial interview was awesome (had she had her choice I think she would have offered me the job on the spot).  Then the second interview with the board came.  It was sorta strange.  Not a lot was said or really talked about.  I did my best to present myself the same way as before.  The tension (dealing with parents) was though but I came away thinking it went well.  I just knew I had it.  I was even getting my plays ready and planning the first meetings.  But then.....the email came.  I smiled when I saw it pop in my inbox because I just knew what it said.  I clicked, I read , my heart sank.  "we have decided to go with another candidate."  I couldn't believe it!!  That was MY job!  No one could have been more qualified or prepared for it than me.  It took a few days to get over but I soon realized again God was in control.  There was a reason He didn't want me there and there was reason He needed me somewhere else.  

So even today I wait!  I have 2 great opportunities that are even better than I have could imagined.  Either would be wonderful.  I wait for the decision of others to decide my future.  I wait for God to show His wisdom of where He wants me.  I wait for God to have grace and mercy on this wondering soul to find a place.  I wait, because God has the controller and only He can land the jet!

Lesson 2: More "Spiritual"

The next lesson God thought me I think came about because of my reaction to the first one because these were pretty much happening at the same time.  As I began seeing the need of other around me, I figured that God was showing me this because he wanted me to do something about it.  I guess I have always tried to "fix" things and that really kicked in here. 

I instantly began trying to start new ministries, get into in current ones and try to fill my life with more and more and trying to find more ways to "minister" to others.  I even went so far has to decide that our small church needed a full on cancer ministry.  I contacted a place to helps churches get started, got all the information and asked our pastor to meet to discuss it.  At the time he was pretty busy and and asked if we could postpone it a bit.  This angered me very much.  Here I was trying to do what God "told" me to do and this pastor was ruining it.  Later he sent me information on another cancer ministry in the area started by a former member.  "Fine,"  I thought, "but mine is gonna be bigger and better than this.  Mine has more meaning." 

Over the course of several weeks things kept us busy and we were unable to meet.  I soon realized that the drive was no longer there to do this ministry.  I was now onto bigger and better things.  Whatever that was.  Then God whacked me on the head with a stop sign.  I was sitting in church, only half way listening to the sermon.  When something was said that caught my attention.  I don't remember exactly what it was but I knew God was saying it to me.  I almost had a full on breakdown right there but luckily was able to contain it.  I felt God literally screaming at me "STOP THIS!"  I of course responded with ," What do you mean I am doing what you told me to do."  I think God chuckled at that.  Yes He has a sense of humor.

That's when He hugged me up and in His loving way said, "Heather, you are not following me.  You are following emotions.  I never told you to do any of this.  I showed you these people around you yes but I only need you to empathize with them, support them, encourage them, show them my love.  I don't need to do all this other stuff.  All I need is for you to be there.  Slow down and listen to ME NOT your emotions." 

I melted.  I blocked everything out and just melted and rested int he arms of my Abba!  Oh what a feeling.  AS church was closing I have no idea what was going on but then I heard the Pastor say that He was going to be starting a new series in the next few weeks about encouragement.  I chuckled.

What/who is more Important: First Lesson Learned

As I said in my previous post, God has used this past month to teach or at least remind me of  many valuable lessons.  I will try my best to begin to share those with you here.  As I think back over this time there were 4 main lessons.
1.) God is in control and no matter how much I think I am or wish I was, I AM NOT!
2.)  Trying to make myself more "spiritual" by trying to more and more NEVER works!
3.) There are more important things and people in my life than coaching and myself.
4.)  Coaching IS my ministry.

I don't think I will touch on all of them in this post but will certainly get to them all over the next few.  To be totally honest, this all really started with lesson number 3: There are more important things and people in my life than coaching and myself.  This lesson actually started several months before on December 23, 2012.  The Sunday before Christmas, we were all sitting down around the table after lunch when my mom said she had something to tell us.  We all figured it had to do with her upcoming retirement.  Little did any of us know the devastation that was coming.  I looked across the table into my mother's eyes and knew it wasn't good.  She took a deep breath and trying to hold back the tears told us all she had breast cancer.  My heart leapt into my throat and I thought I would literally throw up right there.   At that point, nothing else mattered in my life except her.  My entire life she had been there for everything.  She was at every ballgame, every school function, every major event in my life.  All of that flashed into my mind at that moment.  She was there when I needed an ear or a shoulder.  She was there for the hurt, she was there for the joy.  Everything that had happened in my life growing up had pretty much happened because of her.  I really don't remember what was said in the conversation of the next several minutes because of all of this going on in my head.  I do know my mom couldn't finish her thoughts and my dad had to take over but I have no idea the words that were said. 

The next thing I do remember was my mom finally getting her composer and saying, "I am good with things.  I am going to be just fine and am at peace and know God is in control."  With that there was some silence and the the conversation turned to other things.  I just looked at her and let her words sink in "at peace."  How could she be at peace with this?  Did she know that she could die form this?  Did she know what this could do to her?  Then I heard a voice say, "I got this.  She's mine.  Just have PEACE."  I took a deep breath, smiled, and joined in the conversation again.  It wasn't until I laid down in bed that night that I realized, I too was at PEACE.

Needless to say, that Christmas took on a whole new meaning.  It was GREAT.  I realized then just how important time with my family really is.  Just as a side note, my mom had surgery and is now cancer free.  No treatments needed except a pill she must take everyday for the next 5 years.  Praise GOD !!I'll take that!

The next game after that was an away game.  It was about a 2 hour drive on New Year's Eve Day but the pouring rain made it seem much longer.  I took the time to think about the past week.  I realized coaching was going to much different, the pink ribbon that would always be on my lapel and the pink "STRENGTH" bracelet around my wrist would remind my of that.  That was the foundation for my lesson that there were more important things than coaching and more important people than myself.  The Scripture God used for this lesson was, " Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too." Philippians 2:4

I instantly began to see the need of others around me, especially my players.  I had contact with them almost daily and because of my position, I had a great influence and impact on their lives.  God began to show me that they were more important then myself and my coaching.  He made me realize that their well being; physical, emotional and spiritual was more important than the sport of basketball and my coaching them in it.  They were the reason I coached but HE was who I was coaching for.  He took this seed He planted that day and carefully watered it, gave in light, and allowed it to slowly grow over the next few months until the right time came for Him to harvest it through the ultimate lesson.

Roller Coaster Ride

I feel like I have been on a roller coaster ride lately.  for the record....I HATE ROLLER COASTERS.  Never been a fan of them.  I have been on one small one and one big one in my life and if I NEVER get on another it will be too soon.  I think i was brainwashed to get on them them.  But, that's beside the point so ... moving on.

AS I was patiently waiting for the summer recruiting to start, I got an unexpected notice that my services would no be needed at the college and it seemed the downhill spiral began.  I must saw I was devastated and that is probably an understatement.  I felt disrespected, depressed, and discarded.  I just wanted to crawl in a hole and die.  For days I walked around in a fog trying to go about my regular routine, but the anger I felt would not go away.  Finally a friend and co-worker asked me what was wrong.  After some struggle I finely said it out loud and suddenly the fog began to clear, extremely slowly.  Somehow, just saying it out loud seemed to begin to put things in perspective.  It was then that God began to use this lowest point in my life to teach me on of the greatest lessons I have learned so far.  It has been a month since I first got that unexpected notice and today I think I finally got off the roller coaster.  God has and still is teaching me so many things about myself and my coaching.  What seems most amazing about it is that I haven't learned these before.  And I know that its not because God wasn't there trying to tell me, its just that I was so caught up in things that I didn't take time to listen.  I think He finally decided to make sure I listened.  Sometimes God has to do things to get our attention so we will just lean on Him and listen.  This was the case from me.  He had to get me to a spot where in order to listen to Him, He had to take away the one thing that I was putting before Him.  I know that's the issue.  I was putting my coaching career before Him and He had had enough.  So He took it away, at least long enough for me to realize which was more important.  He has taught me so much this past month and I will share more of that later.  But for now I need to continue to seek Him as I get of this roller coaster and allow my feet to get replanted on the "Solid Rock"!

Boring.....

Well I haven’t written here in a while and honestly it’s because things have been kind of boring.  Since the season ended, I feel lost and somewhat absent minded (more so than usual).  Surprisingly, I haven’t had the bout with being depressed.  I hate this time of year.  With no basketball, except for March Madness, which I don’t really what anyway, it’s boring.  Don’t get me wrong it’s nice to have the extra time to spend with my family and to do the things I neglected during the season but when something really drives you and then it’s not there anymore, it just feels wrong.

So I just sit here and try and muddle through life awaiting summer recruiting.  Hopefully I’ll have a bit more to do this year than last.  There are a few girls that I have been following on my own during the school season and I plan on continuing with them and hopefully get some more from the head coach.  Hopefully with that, it will be enough to keep that basketball itch scratched until next season.  My fear is that it might only make the itch worse. 

It’s funny, every time my husband and I talk about basketball we seem to always preface it with the phrase “When I become a college head coach…”  Yes that is the dream and goal.  I know it will one day happen.  God specifically says in scripture that He will.  “Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”  Psalm 37:4.  So yes I do know that it will happen and a cling to that promise, but until then I am extremely happy where I am at.  I am extremely grateful for the opportunity I have been given.  I know that it has been a huge stepping stone to the future.  I just can’t wait until coaching is all I do!