Commitment

Been so busy didn't realize its been 2 weeks since last post.  So here you go.

Over the last week or so an issue has come up that just irritates me to no end.  So much so that I can't get past it even days later so for what it is worth here is my rant on that issue... COMMITMENT

To me commitment is HUGE!!!  I am a firm believer that once you make a commitment to someone or something that you should stick to it no matter what.  I know things don't always go how they are promised and yes I have been in situations where I was promised something and then that person did not come through BUT does that mean we are to not follow through on our commitment?  ABSOLUTELY NOT!!

See there is something I believe goes so hand in hand with commitment that the two cannot be separated, integrity.  Now if I think commitment is huge then integrity is not only the foundation of that commitment but also the frame that holds it all together and the roof under which it sits.  To me, my word is just as good as a contract on paper.  If I tell someone I will do something, it is as good as done.  Problem is not everyone is that way but I feel they are.  If my word is gold then I tend to believe everyone else's is as well and tend to get upset when I find out different. It is hard to explain just how important commitment is to me. 

If you look the word commitment up in the dictionary one of the words used to define it is obligation which then is define as the act of binding or obliging oneself by a promise, contract or a sense of duty.  Simply put it is something you MUST do.  So to me if you say you will do something, I take it to mean you WILL do it.  I really don't think that is too much to ask.  

When my husband and I stood at the front of friends and family in a small church in Alabama, we made a commitment to love each other for the rest of our lives.  Now there are times we get mad at each other and may not like each other for one reason or another but NOTHING would keep us from loving each other because that is a commitment we made and we both take not only that but all our commitments seriously.  

Unfortunately too many people today are very flippant in their commitments.  Too many times they say they will do something knowing full well they have no intention of doing it.  I am sorry to say I have no place for these people in my life and to put it more frankly they have no place in team sports either.  I have seen it too many times.  A player says they want to be a part of the team and wants to play but when it comes right down to it all they really care is themselves.  They have no desire to be part of a team but only want the glory and recognition for themselves.  Basketball is very much a team sport.  Each player, coach, parent, fan, etc.  must all be committed to the game in order for it to work properly.  As a member of the team, each player must also commit to the good of the team rather than self.  Once a player breaks that commitment and turns to self, they have no place on the team and if that player isn't soon dealt with the entire team suffers.  This is a hard job as a coach.  Probably one of the hardest but its something that needs to be done.  I usually try and give people the benefit of the doubt but when it comes to commitment, there is no room for that because with commitment you are either in or out there is NO in between!!!!

Team Effort

God never ceases to amaze me in the way He conducts my life.  He also knows what people I need in my life on any given day.  What is more amazing to me is when He puts me in a situation where I think I am the one going to be teaching and helping but it turns out I am the one that does the learning and receiving.  Even though this basketball season is less than 2 weeks old, this is on of those situations.

I came into the season ready to teach, guide and guide my players not only in basketball but in life.  I was ready to lead them on the court, in Bible study and in life lessons.  I was ready to help them learn what it meant to play for Christ and honor and glorify God in all things.  I was ready to show them that you can show love and respect to your opponents and how to be the young ladies God intended them to be.  Little did I know that they would also teach me.

This past weekend was a true testament to that.

I started writing this post 4 days ago on Nov 12. It is now late night Nov 15 into wee hours Nov 16th.  Little did I know then just how real it would come to be.   My intent was to write about how the girls had taught me about certain things over their efforts and encouragement and motivation during team huddles at recent games.  About how they would come into the huddle and literally start talking to each other about what they needed to do and what was and wasn't working and as a coach you just stand and smile and let them finish because sometimes it means more coming from a teammate.  That was my intent BUT after the most recent game my mind went a different direction. 

I must say it was a hard game to watch and coach.  There are times as a coach you have nothing to say because things are going so well and then there are times like this game.  Times you're not sure what to say because nothing seems right.  I know as their coach they look at me for all the answers to what they are doing wrong and how to do what needs to be done, but honestly sometimes I don't know.  It breaks my heart but I just don't know.

I think the problem is that over the past few years of coaching teams that are "less competitive" I have lost my edge.  I have mellowed myself out so much that I tend to shove those emotions down when they start to arise for fear of saying the wrong thing or "hurting their feelings".  The teams over the last 3 years I had to do that and now that I have a team that needs it, I can't seem to bring myself to do.  I have passed it off as just being the "Christian coach" I want to be but that still doesn't work.  Tonight while watching videos to find clips to motivate my team, God used them to speak to me.  And I realized I have been fooling myself and my team. 

You see because of the mindset over the last few years, I realized I have not bee putting my entire effort into coaching this team the way they need to be coached.  I was dancing around the issue trying to the "Christian coach" I feel called to be.  In reality I was not being that Christian coach.  God created me to be who I am for a reason, emotions and all.  I realized that if I am not giving everything I have to my coaching, emotions, heart, desire, effort, then how in the world could I ask my players to do the same!!  I have always told myself and my players that I would NEVER ask them to do anything that I wouldn't do.  Guess I blew that one tonight!!!

So God has used them greatly to teach me but not the lesson I thought it was 4 days ago when I first began writing this blog post.  But I believe that this is a far greater lesson for both myself and them and that it will help all of us grow together.  I only hope that we can meet talk about, learn from, forgive and move on from this lesson and be all the more stronger on the other side.  It's all about the team effort we give and it starts with the coach!!!

 

Nicely Done

So the first official game for both teams is in the books and I must say I couldn't be more proud of them both.  White did an outstanding job executing to near perfection everything that was asked.  Everyone contributed and they came out with a huge win.  Blue team did outstanding.  They too executed well and if not for missed free throws and a few bad plays at the end would have pulled it out.


It's amazing as a coach to see the progression of the team over the course of the season.  Its been even more so with the group of girls.  We have had a long preseason getting ready for things and really haven't had much to judge our progress by.  But tonight proved we are right on track for both teams having a great season.  Each team has gotten better and better over the last few weeks.  The chemistry is finally starting to come around.  I realized tonight just how good these teams will be this season and even caught myself a few times being more of a fan than a coach and just enjoying watching them do what they do and do it well.  It was nice but I soon had to get back the reality and be a coach again.  It is a great feeling as a coach to watch from the sideline and see your team do exactly as they have been taught.  I hope they too can see that in themselves. 

I told both teams 2 things before tip-off. 1.) No matter what happens out there, be able to go home and look at yourself in the mirror and know you gave it your all, 2.) Above all, remember Who you are playing for.  They got the message!  They definitely  gave it there all and should look proudly in the mirror.  More importantly they played for their Audience of One and  brought honor and glory to Him in their actions and attitudes.  So my message to team tonight.... NICELY DONE, YOU ARE B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L

Progress

It's amazing to look back over the past month and see the progress things have made. Being a country girl.  I compare it to farm tractors.  Less than two weeks ago I felt like we were kinda like this.

We had a scrimmage this week and it was good to see that we had made great progress.  I'd say we were a little more like this:

Our goal of course would be to be more like this:

I do see us getting there but it will take time.  Right now we are in the process of tweaking the little things we need to in order to make things happen the way we want.  It is also the process of team chemistry.  Seeing that most of these girls have not played together at all or that much makes things hard on them.  Once they learn each other and really start to "gel" I think things will really start coming around.  To me that is one of the hardest things about coaching because it is something I can't control of fix and really have nothing to do with.  You just have to sit back and let it happen.  You can't force it and push it to move faster and depending on the team you never know how long it will take.  Just have to wait for it.

The good part is that my players can see the progress they have made and know things are working.  One of them even said it was just a matter of time and when the chemistry come around we'd be much better.  Its nice to know they feel the same.  I think maybe some team building may be in order.    That will really help.  As I told a parent the other night, when things come around and really start clicking they will be fun to watch.  WE will all be sitting on the edge of our seat until til because we know its just a matter of time.  We are still :

Slowly Growing

One thing I have learned over the years of coaching is that growth takes time.  Growth of the players into the team that you want them to become does not happen overnight or even in a few practices.  It's one of those things that slowly develops over time.  It can be very frustrating for me as the coach and for the players.  We tend to have the mindset that it should happen more quickly and as much as we want it to, it doesn't.  

One of the teams now has 2 scrimmages under their belt.  The first scrimmage was hard to watch.  It seemed we could get nothing right.  We had a hard time running our offense and was just throwing up 3's because it seemed they didn't know what to do.  It was not pretty.  Tonight we had our second.  While it wasn't pretty either, it was night and day difference in running our offense and our shot selection.  It was GROWTH.

Yes there is still growth that needs to happen and yes it will take time, but it WILL happen.  We, the players and me as a coach, need to keep that in mind and just continue to get better.  I don't expect it to just happen overnight, as much as I would love it to, but I know it will.  The hard part for all of us is not to get frustrated and down on ourselves for not being where we want to be.  The important thing is that we recognize where we need to get better, and work hard to do so.  We have to be careful not to get stagnant but continue to grow no matter how little it may be.  Its important to just KEEP SLOWLY GROWING!!

Little Things

Despite what some may say, little things are important both in basketball and in life.  The problem with little things is that they can add up to big things.  Take rebounding for example.  If you don't rebound the ball you can't score and the other team can.  That means you lose the game.  There is not one coach I know that would tell you rebounding is not important.  Yes its only one small aspect of the game but it is important.  However, I am talking about even smaller little things.

At the beginning of the season I told the girls that their attitudes and their treatment of their opponent is very important to me.  One thing I want them to get in the habit of doing is helping their opponent up when they are on the floor.  I know it seems like a minor things but it is important to me because it is a sign of respect and I want them to ALWAYS respect their opponent.  I also watch their attitudes closely both in practice and games (when we get to start them).  Attitude can tell you so much about a person and what they are thinking and doing and also thinking of doing.  I don't want a girl on the floor who is not in the correct frame of mind to play.  There are little signs everyone give off whether they know if or not about their attitudes.  I do my best to learn these early in the season and use them to me advantage all season.  If I feel a player is not the the correct state of mind to be on the floor, she will come out.

Take for example when a player gets angry at their opponent,  that is an easy one to spot.  If a player becomes angry at their opponent, they tend to not play well because they are more worried about what made them angry and possibly getting back at their opponent.  I for sure don't want it to come to that.  So I take them out and don't let them go back in until I am sure they are calm and the anger is gone.

As a Coach not only do the little things matter in my players, they matter in ME!  The little things I do make a huge difference in my players or at least I hope they do. Little things like writing personal notes of encouragement to them or praying for them by name on a regular basis whether they know if or not.  Encouraging them instead of talking down to them when they make a mistake and definitely never saying anything derogatory or using curse words as so many coaches use.  They way I carry myself on and off the floor makes a huge difference.  I want to make sure they my actions and my words match even in the little things.  Not getting angry myself when things don't go my way but instead trying to find the good in the situation and building on it.

So do the little things matter??  You bet they do!!  Why do they matter??  If the little things don't matter then the big things mean NOTHING!!!

Transparency

Over the last few weeks I have learned the art of transparency and just how good it can be.  But more than both of those I have learned the importance of it.  Its good because if frees us from having to constantly keep up and do things a certain way that is expected by others.  However, what makes it important is that it allows others to support us in ways neither us or them would have know otherwise.  The problem with being transparent is that most people are afraid because they feel it makes them weak or vulnerable.  They couldn't be more wrong.  It actually makes us STRONGER!
Case in point:  This week in family time (that's what we call or team devotional time), a player shared are very personal struggle.   One that she is probably still dealing with daily.  She became very transparent with her teammates about the struggle and almost couldn't finish her talk.  I commend her for being open, honest, and transparent.  Most would never have done this for fear of being judged, laughed at, or put down.  Instead however, her teams showed they supported her.  They encouraged her and I know if it comes right down to it they will pick her up if need be.  Her transparency will not only make her stronger but will make her team stronger.
As a coach,  I have tried to use this blog as a form of transparency for my players, their parents and any who wants to read it.  I hope I have somewhat succeeded.  I have learned this week that it seems to be paying off.  I have gotten several comments about being open, honest and transparent.  Those comments are an encouragement that helps keep me going and lets me know that my transparency is paying off.  It also helps keep me accountable to what I do and what I say/post.  Those both make me stronger.  It also helps make my team stronger because they see their coach as a real person one who struggles with things and not above failure.  I hope they also see how much I care for them and want the to succeed both on and off the court.  This all makes them stronger and it all makes us as a team stronger. 
I have had coaches in the past say that a coach should not to be this way to their players.  We are an authority figure and we shouldn't let them know these things.  I TOTALLY disagree.  I feel it helps us and them be a better team and better people over all by being transparent.  I believe that a coaches job is more than just about the sport you coach and yes even more about wins and loses.  Its about the other things you teach.  Its about character,honesty, respect and integrity.  Its about helping the players we coach become the men or women that God created them to be.  The ONLY way we can do this is by showing them the person God made us to be, by being transparent.  There are examples of this all through the Bible.  Look at Paul in Romans.  Paul was one of the great leaders of the church and many people looked up to him.  But in Romans 7:14-21, he talks about the sins he struggles with and how horrible he feels he is for them.  Even Jesus had struggles.  Yes even He was tempted by the devil but the one that we seem to forget is in the Garden just before he was arrested.  Mark 14:36, Matthew 26:42,Luke 22:42 All tell us that even He struggled with what He knew He had been sent to earth to do.  "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will but yours be done."  Jesus struggled with fulling His "job".  He didn't want to die.  He was transparent enough to show that.  If we are to be like Christ, shouldn't we to be transparent?
Being transparent is not a bad thing especially if we have Christ first in our life.  If you look transparent up in the dictionary, one definition you see is "manifest, obvious".  As Christians we are to allow Christ to manifest in us.  If this is true then when we become transparent, people won't see us but see Christ in us.

1 John 4:9

By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him.

 2 Corinthians 2:14

But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place.

 2 Corinthians 4:11

For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh.