Transparency

Over the last few weeks I have learned the art of transparency and just how good it can be.  But more than both of those I have learned the importance of it.  Its good because if frees us from having to constantly keep up and do things a certain way that is expected by others.  However, what makes it important is that it allows others to support us in ways neither us or them would have know otherwise.  The problem with being transparent is that most people are afraid because they feel it makes them weak or vulnerable.  They couldn't be more wrong.  It actually makes us STRONGER!
Case in point:  This week in family time (that's what we call or team devotional time), a player shared are very personal struggle.   One that she is probably still dealing with daily.  She became very transparent with her teammates about the struggle and almost couldn't finish her talk.  I commend her for being open, honest, and transparent.  Most would never have done this for fear of being judged, laughed at, or put down.  Instead however, her teams showed they supported her.  They encouraged her and I know if it comes right down to it they will pick her up if need be.  Her transparency will not only make her stronger but will make her team stronger.
As a coach,  I have tried to use this blog as a form of transparency for my players, their parents and any who wants to read it.  I hope I have somewhat succeeded.  I have learned this week that it seems to be paying off.  I have gotten several comments about being open, honest and transparent.  Those comments are an encouragement that helps keep me going and lets me know that my transparency is paying off.  It also helps keep me accountable to what I do and what I say/post.  Those both make me stronger.  It also helps make my team stronger because they see their coach as a real person one who struggles with things and not above failure.  I hope they also see how much I care for them and want the to succeed both on and off the court.  This all makes them stronger and it all makes us as a team stronger. 
I have had coaches in the past say that a coach should not to be this way to their players.  We are an authority figure and we shouldn't let them know these things.  I TOTALLY disagree.  I feel it helps us and them be a better team and better people over all by being transparent.  I believe that a coaches job is more than just about the sport you coach and yes even more about wins and loses.  Its about the other things you teach.  Its about character,honesty, respect and integrity.  Its about helping the players we coach become the men or women that God created them to be.  The ONLY way we can do this is by showing them the person God made us to be, by being transparent.  There are examples of this all through the Bible.  Look at Paul in Romans.  Paul was one of the great leaders of the church and many people looked up to him.  But in Romans 7:14-21, he talks about the sins he struggles with and how horrible he feels he is for them.  Even Jesus had struggles.  Yes even He was tempted by the devil but the one that we seem to forget is in the Garden just before he was arrested.  Mark 14:36, Matthew 26:42,Luke 22:42 All tell us that even He struggled with what He knew He had been sent to earth to do.  "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will but yours be done."  Jesus struggled with fulling His "job".  He didn't want to die.  He was transparent enough to show that.  If we are to be like Christ, shouldn't we to be transparent?
Being transparent is not a bad thing especially if we have Christ first in our life.  If you look transparent up in the dictionary, one definition you see is "manifest, obvious".  As Christians we are to allow Christ to manifest in us.  If this is true then when we become transparent, people won't see us but see Christ in us.

1 John 4:9

By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him.

 2 Corinthians 2:14

But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place.

 2 Corinthians 4:11

For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh.

A Little Encouragement Goes a Long Way

 

It's been a tough week for me.  Monday I was unexpectedly terminated from my job (my non-coaching job). I must say I really didn't see it coming but I had been looking to leave for some time.  Non the less it was tough to take.  I have NEVER been terminated from anything.  What made it even worse was that I was given no reason.  Usually when I do something wrong I like to know about it so I can correct it for the future.   Now I don't have that chance because I was not given a reason even though I asked, they refused.  I drove home mad and emotional.  I didn't know what I was gonna do.  I sat in the silence of my living room not knowing how to react.  I think the only thing that kept me from totally breaking down were my sweet dogs in my lap wanting to play and snuggle.   Soon I had to pick myself up, put my game face on and head to pracitce.

It was all I could do not to show the emotion or  frustration I was feeling inside.  Basketball is my outlet and it certainly was that day.  For those 2 hours I could forget about the "real world" and all that had happened and just focus on my team.  It made me cherish them and our time together even more.  Tuesday was hard.  Nothing to do. No outlet.  I think I almost feel into depression if not again for my dogs.  Funny how they can do that.  Then Wednesday came,  and basketball practice again.  We had "family time" before pracitce when we get together for devotional time and just talk.  At the end of this time I was handed a stack of cards and told, " we wrote these for you but you can't read them till you get home."  I just smiled.  The week before I had written cards to each of my players and told them the same thing. I had written those cards not to get anything in return but just to encourage my players and let them know I cared.  I had done it for other teams but never had a team written me ones back. I stuck them in my bag and couldn't wait to read them.  

Practice that day was a little more laid back and fun cause that's how I felt.  After the last 2 days of contemplating, I needed some fun.  So that it was.  On the drive home after pracitce I kept thinking about those cards and couldn't wait to get home and read them.  I walked in grabbed the stack and sat in my chair in the silence of the living room and began reading (thankfully my husband knew to stay away,  Love you honey!!!).  Shortly thereafter tears began to roll down my cheeks.  Their words so pure, innocent, loving  and perfect.  It was exactly what I needed.  Just simple things like "thank you", "be strong", I'm glad your my coach" among others.  They all touched my heart so dearly.  I was overcome with emotions.  Some had been bottled up for days and others just appearing but all coming at once.  I only knew of one thing to do.  I bowed my head and prayed.  I prayed for those players and for God allowing me to be their coach.  I prayed for God's hand on them, on my and our season.  I prayed thank God for knowing just when I needed their encouragement and finally for His guidance in my current situation.  

Those girls didn't know what I would be going thorough when they wrote those cards, but God did.  They didn't know I'd need a pick me up on that day to see something God wanted me to see, but God did.  That night after I read and cried and prayer, God reminded me that He is in control.  He knows whats best for me and the HE WILL provide no matter what.  He reminded me that I am to lay it all in His hands and He will take care of it.  I have tired my best to do that with this team but fallen short in the rest of my life.  Guess He was just reminding me of that also.  He knew a little encouragement would go a long way!!

 

Tough Decisions

 

Coaches sometimes have to make though decisions.  Much tougher then most people think.  This week I had to make one of those.  In all my years of coaching I have never really had to do it.  It was usually either decided for me or just flat out didn't have to worry about it.   When I was told at the beginning of the season that it was mine to make, I thought OK no big deal.   I soon realized how wrong I was.  

I have 17 high school girl players.  The most I have Ever had.  The task was given to me to divide them into two teams, not necessarily a varsity and a jv but two varsity teams with one being just a bit more competitive than the other.  The first few players was fairly easy however, as i went down the list I realize just how donating the task ahead of me was.  Most of the players were all pretty much locked in the middle.  How would I ever decide who would go where.  I am not ashamed to tell you that I agonized over this for a couple of weeks.  I thought at one time I was ready but just before I put out the list decided to wait.    Finally I just starting praying about it.  I asked God to show me where to put everyone.  Why?

When you see coaching as a ministry, you don't necessarily base teams on skill.  You have to base it on what's inside of each player.  You have to base it on what is best for each player in the long run for each player.  You have to base it on what each player will get from it.  You have to base things that as a coach YOU CAN"T SEE.  Good news is, I am on speaking terms with THE ONE who can see them.  So I leaned on Him.  Then just watching the girls play one day in practice it just happened.  It was as if I could see the teams and who was where and how each young lady had grown on that team.  It was a true vision form Him.  I have told myself all along that I didn't want this to be my team.  I wanted it to be God's Team.  That day it completely became His team.  I just pray I won't try to take it back anytime soon.